Top 10 Creative Ways of Hiding Ahnold’s Age in Terminator 5

“…the studios want me to be in Terminator 5 and to star AS the Terminator, which we start shooting in January…” (Source)

They’re doing it. T5 is actually happening—which begs the question: How will the film’s producers go about acknowledging (or denying) the 30 years of steady aging Arnold Schwarzenegger has done since the first film? Here are a few ideas:

  1. Industrial Light & (Face) Magic. Lots of it.
  2. Full beard and sunglasses welded to Arnold’s face at all times.
  3. 7-layer dip in lieu of traditional face makeup.
  4. All Arnold’s closeups shot from a minimum distance of 50 feet.
  5. Kevin Smith-grade overcoat (must meet or exceed federal guidelines).
  6. Octogenarian in the shot with Arnold at all times, so as to make him appear youthful by comparison.
  7. All walking scenes shot upside down to minimize disturbance of neck wattle.
  8. Climbing scenes – Arnold starts at the top and works his way down; shot is reversed in post.
  9. Running scenes – Footage recycled seamlessly from the airport scene in The Running Man.
  10. Start rumor that Brent Spiner is reprising his role as Data in the next Star Trek; use as smokescreen.
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About jesse

Book designer and formatter based in southern California. Supreme overlord of the SuperMegaNet pseudoverse.
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