On hearing the news last month that Alicia Sacramone (you know, the hawt one from the Beijing games) was slated to pose in the buff for ESPN the Magazine’s 2011 “The Body Issue,” the dirty perv inside of me (you know him as Ernie Goodale) made a rude gesture with his hand and shouted, “Fuck yeah! Alicia Sacramone’s finally getting naked!” Meanwhile, my overly-respectful fanboy persona (you know him as Theo Smole) was thinking, “Ew. I hope it’ll be tasteful—like, church-naked and not adult site 30-day trial naked.” Now that the magazine has hit newsstands, I can safely say my creepy expectations have been far exceeded.
This was supposed to be Hope Solo’s issue (she’s on the cover), but Sacramone has totally stolen her thunder. And I’m not just saying that because I happen to be a sweaty, greasy, cave-dwelling Sacramone fan. The other athletes featured all have swag—but in the Hope vs. Sacramone debate I think Matt Faulconer puts it best in his Bleacher Report editorial:
If I saw [Hope Solo] standing in front of me like that, I would be horrified. The look on her face alone makes me want to run away and hide.
Plain and simple: Solo got snapped in an awkward pose. These things happen. Meanwhile, there’s Sacramone over there looking all perfectly poised. I daresay hers is the most gorgeous spread in the entire issue (Sylvia Fowles’ is a close second), besting out everyone else in terms of elegance, lighting, decor, and, yes, that rocking bod.
Added bonus: Now that the clothes have come off, gymnastics fans are taking to forums across the Net and vehemently shoulding all over the place, both for and against the idea of a USAG athlete going bare-bottomed.
Well done, Miss Sacramone.