I’m still on the fence regarding the Amazon Kindle’s worthiness. The Onion has brought me one step closer to salivating over one with its tongue-in-cheek list of “features and improvements.” One feature that has received much attention as of late: text-to-speech. Roy Blount, Jr. seems to have the notion that unchecked Kindles might pave the way for royalty-scoffing e-reading supercomputers down the way. Audio book sales could be in danger—but only when the Kindle learns to do multiple voices and accents, as well as provide sound effects and music to spice things up. Right now the main concern should be the number of bookworms forgoing dental work in order to save up for a Kindle. Could lead to an epidemic blogorific proportions. Film at eleven.
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